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MOVIE REVIEW:"THE PUNISHER:WAR ZONE"
review and art by Phil Seahorn
Starring: Ray Stevenson, Dominic West, Doug Hutchison, Wayne Knight, Julie Benz
Directed by: Lexi Alexander
Produced by: Ari Arad, Oliver Hengst, Michael Paseornek
What the Fuck....I'm almost speechless.Or wordless.or pixelless....fuck it.
"Punisher:War Zone" sure came as a fucking surprise on a Sunday morning matinee at the Creve Couer Cine.
This is some shit you should NOT see on a Sunday morning after breakfast at the Bread Company.
Don't get me wrong, the movie is good, but it is, or has to be, one of the most fucked up BRUTALLY VIOLENT movies I have seen in a while that didn't involve wire fighting and some obscure translated language.
This movie was played very strangely, in that the magnitude of the BRUTALITY of the violence!
I mean, how badly do you want to REALLY FUCK SOMEONE UP WHEN YOU KILL THEM?!!
Nobody was safe from this clearly psychotic motherfukcer.I mean, if Frank Castle (AKA The Punisher) was going to kill you, then you'd just as well shove a grenade up your ass and wait patiently.
You ain't going clean, and you sure as fuck will leave a parting impression.
People were getting killed in this movie that you just had to say to yourself,"Oh, that was just WRONG."
I guess the movie people finally listened to the fans, and this movie was made by apparently a new branch of the Marvel Comics movie division, called "Marvel Knights Production".
But really, this movie should have gotten a NC-17 rating, and for the life of me I don't know how they got this movie greenlit when the script was submitted.
There is one scene(there are many) where dude gets shot,stabbed, thrown off a roof, impaled on a gate fence,THEN gets a three story dropkick that has his head hanging like a fucking doll with a broken neck.
On a Sunday morning, I heard more "GODDAMN!'s" than a Reverend Wright Sunday morning sermon.
"Over the top "violence can't describe this movie, and I'm a connisour of movies with "Brutal and Intense Violence" in the description.
It did have some striking similarities to "The Dark Knight", especially in the portrayal of the movie villain "Jigsaw".
But dude, the fucking violence.....
Well, it was a good movie, fair acting by the cat from"Rome", and well lensed, for what it's worth.
Came in 7th of opening weekend box office, which may change as word of mouth gets out , if one can stop gagging for a moment.
And this shit is not gory brutal, but just plain BRUTAL.
Realistically,this WOULD be the type of shit a person would do when their family gets gunned down in front of them, but the portrayal of the Mafioso in the movie was more like they were vampires than mobsters.
Go see the movie, but be prepared.
And don't go on a Sunday morning.
SEAHORN MOVIEMETER:"B-"
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MOVIE REVIEW"TRANSPORTER 3"
art and review by Phil Seahorn
Starring: Jason Statham, Natalya Rudakova, Francois Berleand, Robert Knepper, Jeroen Krabbe
Directed by: Olivier Megaton
Produced by: Luc Besson, Steve Chasman
There' something to be said for a movie to make the 3 mark in franchise history, and still be entertaining.
Such is the case with the third installment of the "Transporter" franchise.
Although this was a hit and miss, almost rollercoasteric in the way the movie flows.
It can also be said that this is the perfect replacement for the weird ass new "James Bond" thing that I have spent WAY to much blog content on.
This movie is a showcase for WHEREVER the hell this is supposed to be (they have this really vague location for where the main character lives that you don't know if it is France ,Germany, or wherever the fuck they are supposed to be in Europe)in that they really showcase the landscape.
If I can find out where the hell this IS, I would like to go there (I guess I have to watch the credits at the end).
The script is very "Bond", and they have that vibe, which is weird for the franchise.
The first two installments hinted at the exotic European action flick ala "Bond",but just went for the shoot and beat em up.
The script for the third movie is really good and acter driven, giving Statham a chance to stretch the acting, and it works.
I have always found his character of "The Transporter " extremely desirable, living lavishly in a beautiful country, driving a kick ass car, and driving as fast as you want to go as a "getaway driver".
Even his strange relationship with a French cop ,at first unlikely, has played a very entertaining supporting character in all three movies, giving the franchise a very clear and transitional supporting story element.
All the women in the 3 films have been so sexy as to equal the worldwide exotica of the "Bond" women.
In the 3rd, the woman is a red headed hotty with freckles.
And, she's RUSSIAN.
Fianlly, the fight scenes.
In promotional spots on cable, they talked about the new approach to the fight scenes.
Now, this shit is interesting as hell, as the first movie highlighted the very unique fight scenes in that one.
Highly choreographed with Jackie Chan stunts, these fight scenes where excellent.
But the fight scens in the third one are off the hook.
Dude is extra ripped to, perhaps more so in this one than the past two.
Statham said in a interview that he got the "300" boot camp, which wips you into the ab power definition that they used for the actors in "300".
Makes you want to hit the gym more.
So, all this made for a very good movie, and a good holiday flick.
THE SEAHORN MOVIEMETER:"B"
