MOVIE REVIEW: 'APPALOOSA"
MOVIE REVIEW:"APPALOOSA"
art and review by Phil Seahorn
Starring: Ed Harris, Robert Knott, Viggo Mortensen, Renee Zellweger, Timothy V. Murphy
Directed by: Ed Harris
Produced by: Michael London, Cotty Chubb, Toby Emmerich
Would someone please explain to me why Hollywood, which spends literally BILLIONS of dollars on CGI and special effects, can't make a fucking good movie with horses and cowboys?
I mean, how expensive is that today?
And, whose bright idea is it to greenlight projects for, AT BEST, "B" level actors?
That's the case with "Appaloosa", this supposedly "best western since "Unforgiven"(which came out almost 20 fucking years ago).
Oh wait, there was that "Yuma" movie that came out last year, which was touted at that time as the "best western since "Unforgiven".
Look, Hollywood considers making a western like motherfuckers making a silent movie, so the bias is quite obvious.
But don't make the shit, promote the shit AS "the shit",then rob movie goers in a already fucked up economy of their hard earned money.
This movie was simply a piece of shit.
The photography was bad, the sets looked just like fucking sets, the gun play was "shoot,fall down", and PLEASE,PLEASE,PLEASE, in this digital age of moviemaking, keep fucking Renee Zellweger off the fucking screen!!!
I'm sorry, but that bitch looks like she's taking a shit everytime they do closeups.
And BOY ,did they have a lot of closeups of this broad in this movie.
I came very, very close to walking out of this movie, and , well, this was just a piece of shit.
THE SEAHORN MOVIEMETER:"H" for horseshit
posted by PHILLIP SEAHORN @ 6:24 PM
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