Monday, May 22, 2006

MOVIE REVIEW FOR "THE DA VINCI CODE"






















MOVIE REVIEW FOR"THE DA VINCI CODE"
review and artwork by Phillip Seahorn
Starring:
Directed by: Ron Howard
Produced by: Dan Brown, Todd Hallowell, Brian Grazer

It was a huge weekend for the box office. And they said it wouldn't happen.

Here in St. Louis, there were a group of grown folks trying to tell other grown folks that they were, essentially, going to hell if they enjoyed and/or embraced this movie.

Or stumbled over popcorn that had been inside the theatre during the showing of the movie.

'THE DA VINCI CODE" is a GOOD MOVIE.

A fucking piece of fictional entertainment.

In 2006, it is very disturbing to hear words like "blasphemous" and"heresy".This is the type of thinking that is killing people in the Middle East and Africa.

We, as Westerners, should know better.

This movie is entertaining.So will "The Omen" (2006) will be.If you look at a sideways comparison, both movies are the same.

THEY BOTH "BLASPHEME" THE CATHOLIC CHURCH.

Ever been to a boycott of "The OMEN?"

I'm Catholic.I saw the movie.I love my faith.I loved this movie.And I'm still trying to figure out that (and this knowledge is WIDELY known) so many considered Jesus to have been JUST A MAN, this"announcement" to the world, directly from Hell!! A man that had a hotline directly to THE BIG GUY (OR GIRL),sure, and could do some miraculous things, BUT HE WAS JUST A MAN. As a Catholic, I am not offended by this.Again, I know the teachings of my religion.But I embrace other notions of who Jesus was.And I did not let this interfere with my enjoyment of "A MOVIE".I hope my church realized the quarter of a million dollars worth of publicity this gave this movie.Whatever or whoever Jesus was, HE STILL WORKS WONDERS.

Now, I hope my church did not know that people are well aware of the unspeakable atrocities that have been committed in the name of my faith.Oops, how the hell did THAT get out?

THIS MOVIE WAS BIG BOX OFFICE IN ITALY, FOR CHRIST'S SAKE.

oh , shit.

The photography is excellent, and will make you want to go to Europe, especially France and England.

Tom Hanks is an actor's actor.Like Morgan Freeman, he brings class and dignity to a movie.

Jean Reno's performance as "The Left Hand of Opus Dei" (Silas being "the Right Hand") might earn him "Best Supporting" actor.

Silas the Monk is , like Hoffman's villain character in "MI3", one of the better villians in a while.
I now understand the comic fandom super buzz over this guy playing "The Joker" in the next "Batman".

This movie, however, maligns the hell out of Albino Folk.It almost reminded mo of the "evil hunchback" shit. So, I think the "albino villian"in this movie as more along the lines of"The Matrix" Albino villians instead for Silas in this movie.

All in all, a good movie covering shit that people already knew, but has suddenly become"controversial". Go and see a good "Tom Hanks" movie, which is what this movie really is all about.

THE SEAHORN MOVIEMETER: "A"

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

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Saturday, May 06, 2006

MOVIE REVIEW FOR "MISSION IMPOSSIBLE 3"

















MOVIE REVIEW FOR "MISSION IMPOSSIBLE 3"
review and artwork by Phillip Seahorn

Starring: Tom Cruise, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Ving Rhames, Billy Crudup, Michelle Monaghan
Directed by: J.J. Abrams
Produced by: Tom Cruise, Paula Wagner, Stratton Leopold


First off, Maggie Q, who plays IMF "Agent Zen" is the most sexiest woman I have seen on screen in a long time.It has been a while since we have had a more "exotic" sex appeal in our Hollywood actresses.We have had actresses from other countries, but they all eventually loose their accents and act in more "Western ways.Not lumping the female Asian movie roster, but even the actresses from"Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon", and Lucy Lui are just morphed into Western actresses.Q is an Asian beauty that RADIATES exotic sexiness. She has a completely western accent, which belies her Asian beauty. Do a Wikipedia search on her, and you find that she's multi-ethnic, which may fuel the exoticness of her.

And, unlike some minority co-stars, she lives at the end of the movie.

She DOES get shot.

Tom Cruise has found a franchise similar to the eighties action heroes like Sylvester Stallone and "The Governator."

"MI3 "plays like an extended television episode, keeping it's core to the source,but with Tom's now Jerry Bruckheimer's high budget action norm.Like a Will Smith summer movie of the past, expect a Tom Cruise summer flick to "bring it".

The acting is rather forced, and the love scenes between Crusie and Michelle Monaghan are agenda driven.I'm now almost convinced that Tom Cruise is gay.These scenes are screaming "I'm Tom Cruise,I'm straight because I WANT TO GET MARRIED."

Tom wants to marry Monaghan's character,Tom wants to marry Katie,Tom wants to IMMEDIATELY HAVE A CHILD BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT STRAIGHT PEOPLE DO!!!!!!!

Hope you feel me.

Philip Seymore Hoffman is the meanest motherfucker in movie villains that we have had in a long time.That sonuvbitch is mean .Hoffman is like the kid that you fuck with, and the kid turns to you, even tempered, in a casual tone.He quietly says he's gonna fuck ya up.AND HE DOES!!He follows thru, he keeps his promise, with even tempered finese.Hoffman scared me. He really did.

All in all, the movie was shot excellently, especially the Hong Kong scenes.And Tom does all his stunts, which shows commitment.

THE SEAHORN MOVIEMETER:"B"