MOVIE REVIEW:"THE WATCHMEN"
MOVIE REVIEW:"THE WATCHMEN"review by Phil Seahorn
Actors
Malin Akerman Laurie Jupiter/Silk Spectre II
Billy Crudup Jon Osterman/Dr. Manhattan
Matthew Goode Adrian Veidt/Ozymandias
Jackie Earle Haley Walter Kovacs/Rorschach
Jeffrey Dean Morgan Edward Blake/Comedian
Patrick Wilson Dan Dreiberg/Nite-Owl
Carla Gugino Sally Jupiter/Silk Spectre
Matt Frewer Moloch
Stephen McHattie Hollis Mason
Laura Mennell Janey Slater
Niall Matter Mothman
Rob LaBelle Wally Weaver
Gary Houston John McLaughlin
James Michael Connor Pat Buchanan
Danny Woodburn Big Figure
John Shaw (III) Doug Roth
Robert Wisden Richard Nixon
Jay Brazeau Bernard
Jerry Wasserman Detective Fine
Don Thompson (II) Detective Gallagher
Dan Payne Dollar Bill
Frank Novak Henry Kissinger
Leah Gibson Silhouette's Girlfriend
Garry Chalk Norad General
Ron Fassler Ted Koppel
Stephanie Belding Janet Black
Michael Kopsa (II) Paul Klein
William Taylor (II) Prison Psychiatrist
Malcolm Scott (II) Fat Thug
Danny Wattley (II) Huge Prisoner
Walter Addison Lee Iacocca
Keith Martin Gordey Auto CEO
David Mackay (II) Child Murderer
Fulvio Cecere Agent Forbes
Sean Allan Norad General
Ted Cole (II) Dick Cavett
Mark Acheson Large Man at Happy Harry's
John Destry Happy Harry s Bartender
Christopher Gauthier Seymour
L. Harvey Gold New Frontiersman Editor
Jay Brazeau News Vendor
Manoj Sood Karnak Scientist
Apollonia Vanova Silhouette
Glenn Ennis Hooded Justice
Darryl Scheelar Captain Metropolis
Clint Carleton Young Hollis Mason
Brett Stimely John F. Kennedy
Carrie Genzel Jackie Kennedy
Greg Travis Andy Warhol
Greg Armstrong-Morris Truman Capote
Bruce Crawford (II) Bank Robber
Salvatore Sortino 1940 Watchmen Photographer
John Kobylka Fidel Castro
Matt Frewer Moloch the Mystic
Frank Cassini Sally s Husband
Tara Frederick Aggressive Hooker
Daryl Shuttleworth Jon s Father
Ron Chartier Carnival Photographer
Sonya Salomaa Adrian Veidt s Assistant
Michael Eklund Man in Riot Crowd
Louis Chirillo Face To Face TV Producer
Marsha Regis Face To Face TV Receptionist
Patrick Sabongui Knot Top Gang Leader
John Tench Knot Top Gang Member
Jason Schombing NY Swat
Darren Shahlavi NY Swat
Marshall Virtue NY Swat
Colin Lawrence (II) Officer Kirkpatrick
Chris Weber (II) Officer O Brien
Alessandro Juliani Rockefeller Military Base Technician
Heidi Iro Foreign Newscaster
Kit Koon Foreign Newscaster
Tony Ali Foreign Newscaster
Calvin Lee Foreign Newscaster
Mark Gash On Location Reporter
Suzanne Clements On Location Reporter
Agam Darshi On Location Reporter
Tom McBeath News Analyst
Kevin McNulty News Anchor
Mark Docherty Newscaster
Clay St Thomas Newscaster
Dale Wolfe Keene Act Anchor
Ken Tremblett Keene Act Anchor
Dawn Chubai Keene Act Anchor
Tamara Stanners Vietnam 51st State Anchor
Danny Hospes Tenement Fire Child
Ali Dunn Tenement Fire Child
Kurt Evans Tenement Fire News Reporter
Sylvesta Stuart Destruction Firefighter
Terence Kelly General West
Mi-Jung Lee A Bomb Test Anchorwoman
Ted Friend Larry Culpeper
John R. Taylor Priest
Well,was this worth waiting 20 years for?
Let me put it this way:
Fuck it.
No, it wasn't.
Now, before the fanboys hunt me down on line and flame me (they're fan boys, it's not like they have things to do like dates, or anything)let me elaborate.
I think that this movie would have fared better as a CGI animate, like "Beowulf".
All the prerelease photos of the main characters pretty much were the money shots for this movie.
People basically wanted to see "Rorschack" in a 3 d world, but even though the character in the "Watchmen" was AT TIMES CGI, watching Billy Crudup's junk in real time was just fucking WEIRD.
But the animated version of him really stood out, and that is why I think the ENTIRE movie should have been animated.
Another element of not using a more "realistic" approach to this movie was the opening montage of the movie.
Now, I got to give props: it did hit me like a brick, as it was simply OUTSTANDING.
The montage really was the entire movie (complete with a excellent Bob Dylan music choice).
The other element of the film that will propel it to a (possible) Oscar nod, is the performance of Jackie Earle Haley as sociopath turned good guy (?) "Rorshach".
Easily the best performance of a comic book character, and every bit as worthy of the same accolades, as Ledger's performance of "The Joker".
Let's hope he gets the nod.
Now, if it were JUST the monologue, the CGI,the fight scenes, and Haley's performance, then this movie would get a solid "A".
It's just the fucking shit IN BETWEEN that was whack.
I know that "Wathmen " is like the holy Bible to comic geeks.
I can say this because I'M a comic book geek.
But, I really didn't think the graphic novel was that good, and for a hard hitting graphic noir, it had a fucking HAPPY ENDING!!!!!!!!!!
When you recreate a graphic novel PAGE BY PAGE, then it would have been fucking cheaper for me to get a "Viewmaster" of the fucking book instead of spending 2 and a half hours for the big cinematic payoffs.
Oh, and folks with kids:boy, will YOU make a big fucking mistake taking little "Jimmy" to see this "comic book movie".
Better have that "sex" discussion you were waiting until puberty to recite ready.
Now, let's not hate:
the fight scenes were FUCKING OFF THE CHAIN.
Future "Batman" flicks should REALLY, I MEAN REALLY, FUCKING PAY ATTENTION to these scenes.
I just wasn't that impressed with the film overall, as it had too many peaks and valleys, and was as fucking BORING as the source material.
The pluses of the film were indeed very strong pluses, but the minuses just outweighed the entire project.
SEAHORN MOVIEMAKER:"C+"
posted by PHILLIP SEAHORN @ 1:40 PM
