Monday, May 07, 2007

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posted by PHILLIP SEAHORN @ 6:23 PM

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posted by PHILLIP SEAHORN @ 6:21 PM

MOVIE REVIEW FOR:"SPIDERMAN 3"

MOVIE REVIEW FOR :"SPIDERMAN 3"
art and review by Phil Seahorn
Starring: Tobey Maguire, Kirsten Dunst, Thomas Haden Church, Topher Grace, James Franco
Directed by: Sam Raimi
Produced by: Stan Lee, Joseph M. Caracciolo Jr, Kevin Feige

This is in reference to "Spiderman 3".

It's making bank, and plenty of it.All involved are going to make a big profit.
I have to say, in some capacities, the money was VERY well spent.

The CGI is fucking incredible, especially the conversion of Flint Marko into the "Sandman".

Very poignant, and very moving.Beautiful,and in my opinion ranks up there with the spaceship landing in "E.T." and the Monolith scene in "2001".

I am being VERY serious.

That scene alone will make me see this movie a few more times (twice already).

And the way CGI is now CHOREOGRAPHED creates fight scenes and action scenes that are par none.The very best to date.

Now,the make up job on Hayden Church as "The Sandman" is phenomenal, to the point that Church is almost unrecognizable, even on the digital closeups.As a matter of fact, he looks just like Lee Marvin, which would have made this character one helluva character, if this movie was made back in the day.

So, all the people involved in this movie knew where to spend the CGI dollars.They are going to get their money back, with interest.

The story was so bad, I got physically ill.It was so fucking CORNEY.

SUPERHEROS DO NOT CRY.

Sure ,Superman bawled like a 13 year old Mormon girl when "Uncle Jebidia" shows up,but that was because he held the only living relative (his cousin) in his arms when she died in "Crisis".

And, Batman bawls like a bitch, but then again,YOU would ,too, if you saw your parents gunned down in front of you.

But in this movie, it was so fucking awful and corney.

You could tell that the actors had to force tears,as they probably cracked up like hell on every take ( I can't WAIT to see outakes, if they add them on the DVD).

And, to make it much more worse and uncomfortable, Tobey McGuire is fucking UGLY when he cries, and so is Dunst.So, you have a 30 foot ,obviously trying not to laugh, actor forcing themselves to cry, to the point where their faces scrunch up in pain more so than sadness.

You can visibly see the actors reciting each other's script lines.

And, when the fuck does a hero with a MASK spend more time with it off than with it on?

In this movie universe of" Spiderman" (having a TRAINLOAD OF PEOPLE see him maskless in "S2"), he might as well leave it at home!

I knew the story was gonna suck, and I wasn't too let down.I knew the special effects would be off the hook, as I knew they spent money on this movie.

A lot of reviews are turning in "B-" and "C's", as one has to be honest in this appraisal of the movie.

However, one has to understand that other than villians getting foot to ass in comics, people are sophisticated enough to have to have a storyline, even in a comic book movie.

So, they chose to go with the love story.In the comics, this really didn't kick off until a little over 18 years ago, when the" Spiderman "comic was well over the forty year mark then.

So, I don't think there can ever be a REALLY good story with a comic book movie, without altering it from the comic.I have sadly come to the conclusion that comics and movies really are not a good mix, at least not at this point in the game.

We still have a couple comic book movies this year, and more in the years to come.I think the marketing of these movies will only be in the initial fanbase of the character that the movie is based on, with a slight fluctuation into the mass market.

Look at Bryan Singer, and how he got his ass handed to him on "Superman".

Now, I'm not saying he was a one trick pony (yes I am), but one has to look at the tangible limit that writing a script for a comic based character inherently has.

So, to sum it up, you probably have already seen "Spiderman 3".

THE SEAHORN MOVIEMETER:"C"

posted by PHILLIP SEAHORN @ 5:31 PM